Looking back at/revisiting past times/memories, I have a bunch of feelings; I feel like an idiot, I feel like cursing myself (not in a terrible way)*, I want to laugh out (so very) loud (mostly at myself) and then, apologize deeply and sincerely. I'm not regretting nor rejecting, this is memory I appreciate. I simply want to express: I am sincerely sorry for my actions, and that I would do better, if again.
*'Hilariously stewpid' feels best.